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Softly Bless Sharp, Softly Bless. First Time Love Beginners. Liquid Sky The Trees. Breaking Up the Pieces The Others. I'm Dreaming Captain Joy. Ask Me Aircraft. Happy Children Supaled, P. Matter of Time Gold Machine. Hopkins said that the co-reg community has really been a part of the MEHRIT Centre since the beginning, 10 years ago, in order to bring together like-minded people who are working in relationship-based spaces together as a place to learn, communicate, and connect.
But there were a lot of misunderstandings. There are at least definitions out there of what self-regulation is, Susan explains. Typical educators tend to think of it as having the ability to organize yourself or manage strong emotions. From the beginning, Dr. Hopkins says, self-reg has always been about being within relationships. Making that explicit through this new Co-Reg Community was intentional for this reason. Ultimately co-reg is about the sense of safety.
Shanker gave us an example in that podcast of a child labelled as a behaviour problem feeling safe by talking about race cars with him. With Susan, I gave the example of my son asking me repeatedly who my favourite Mario character is when I pick him up from school, even though he asks me multiple times per day for the last many months. There are many other definitions of co-regulation, too, though, as with self-regulation, she says.
She still hears people thinking that co-regulation is about managing behaviour, too. What is the underlying need? Self-reg and co-reg are also not linear, Dr. Hopkins explains. We all go through periods where we need others. The behaviours are there for a reason, and when we shift and see them differently, often the things we were trying to shift do shift as a result. How does it feel when someone really makes us feel understood? I gave an example of going to a model train show a few years ago and my son being so excited that he was jumping up and down and flapping his hands.
As we develop we may appear under control, but can still get very excited and stressed inside and we co-regulate with others all the time. Hopkins says that we also mess up along the way, which is part of being human. Along with the five practices or domains of Self-Reg, she says that feeling our stress is about the sense of Interoception.
Sometimes we feel the stress come on like a sneeze and maybe we need a break ourselves to decompress. At times we feel it coming on, but other times, our stress responses seem to come out of nowhere.
The Self-Reg definition of Co-Reg was first defined in the Self-Reg Schools Handbook for Educators to distinguish it from the definition used by behaviourists who might look at co-regulation as shaping behaviour. She referenced Dr. Porges work and how we can manipulate the vagus nerve with longer exhales to calm ourselves a bit, for instance, as I discussed in an earlier podcast with him. With all the different definitions of co-regulation it was important for them to identify their developmental definition that is about the adult helping another person with their own five practices of self-regulation.
Co-regulation is a marriage of all of this. As an aside, Susan said she wished that these schools would follow the research about how children learn best and move towards play-based approaches that are child- or student-led. This boy would go from zero to in 2 seconds, flat despite the good relationships he had with the staff. This little boy had the classic signs of allostatic overload where it would take forever to calm down. Hopkins says to think of all the chemicals flowing through his body she refers to this as the fitbit of the future.
Susan says we can do better by seeing the signs earlier and dialing down by connecting. And you build this over time.
You recognize these cues over time like a drip…drip…drip… effect, she explains. So, this little boy, Mikey, who was only about four, was playing well one day when being observed. He was playing frisbee and by accident the frisbee hit another little boy who fell and started to scream and cry. The staff rushed to soothe the hurt boy but Mikey ran up to the climbing structure, scared a little girl playing near the slide and he scowled. What he needs is co-reg: the soft eyes, a big heart, and help to dial it down.
And then over time, he can learn to do this himself. Susan was at the playground equipment observing, and sat at the bottom. He told Susan that, later on. She had no idea if he heard her because the cascade effect of being dysregulated affects how the ear works, and changes everything including his ability to feel empathy. Advanced embedding details, examples, and help! Topics wedding , funeral , wife , husband , love. This song was played at my and my late wife's wedding on October 9, in Vicksburg, Mississippi.
The ceremony was in front of the Beautiful Sunset overlooking the Mississippi River. She died of Cardiac Arrest on September 19, She was 47 years old. There are no reviews yet. Be the first one to write a review.
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